Pronouns Matter

Many people use she/her or he/him pronouns, while many others find those pronouns do not represent them. Sharing your pronoun when you introduce yourself is a way to communicate how people should refer to you so you feel respected & met. I invite you to join this practice of sharing your pronouns to help us normalize the idea that we shouldn’t just presume someone’s pronoun based on how we perceive them or our gendered understanding of their name. 

If this is a new practice for you, I acknowledge that new ways of perceiving & moving can be uncomfortable! Here are a few tips to support your commitment to making our world more affirming & inclusive for non-binary (enby), genderfluid, genderqueer, agender, and transgender people.

1. It’s okay to get flustered trying something new. The way to get comfortable using gender-neutral pronouns or use the pronouns someone has declared vs. your read of them is to practice, practice, practice! Remember, it’s about respect, not grammatical rules that may be challenged.

2. Mistakes happen. If you misgender someone, simply apologize & take note of their pronouns. Be mindful not to make a huge deal about your mistake as that forces someone to spend their time and energy consoling you.

3. Practice asking people their pronouns- ask every presentation, even people you think you know the answer for rather than just asking someone you think might be trans/genderqueer or non-binary.

4. It’s important that if this is a new concept for you, or if the pronouns people are using for you in your day-to-day life feel good or do not cause pain/discomfort when you hear them, that when you are in a community space where you’re prompted to share, that you share the current pronouns you regularly use. Please do not participate in this practice by saying ‘pronouns don’t matter to you because you are just you’ or only use it/we/they only in that space & then comfortably go by she/her or he/his pronouns elsewhere. While unintentional, this ends up dismissing the importance & depth behind this practice & how hard it is to exist in a world that does not respect your gendered experience of yourself. Over time as you explore your gender, you may begin to mindfully (and bravely) try on gender neutral pronouns to see if that feels more affirming to you- that is wonderful and of course going back and forth between binary and non-binary pronouns will likely be a part of that. I simply ask that when you are joining my workshops, classes, or groups, that if this is a new concept or practice for you, that you stick with the pronouns that are working for you

5. Please be mindful not to be invasive. Do not ask people with gender-neutral pronouns to teach you more about this practice and their pronouns: Google is a great resource for your important curiosity & questions! We are doing this practice to reduce the amount of labor that people with non-binary pronouns have to do in our space 😊